I'll Never Let Go
by MysLii
Summary: Buffy and Spike has been together and Spike is dead. But not completely. Kinda sad. B/S-ish


I'll Never Let Go  
  
The lyrics is from Sheryl Crow's "I Shall Believe"  
  
  
"No...go away...please...go away.  
  
*Why? Aren't you happy to see me, luv?*  
  
"You're not real! Why can't you just leave me alone?"  
  
Buffy picked up a stone and threw it at the empty, cold night-air.  
  
  
Come to me now  
And lay your hands over me  
Even if it's a lie  
Say it will be allright  
And I shall believe  
  
  
*Why are you doing this to me? Please stop running from me, Buffy...please*  
  
"Shut up! Shut up!"  
  
Buffy fell to her knees and buried her face in her hands.  
  
*Don't cry, luv. You know, I hate it when you cry*  
  
She lifted her head and stared into Spike's iceblue eyes. Stains of fresh tears were on her cheeks.  
  
"If you hate it so much, then why did you leave me?" she asked, her voice barely hearable.  
  
*I never left you. I would never leave you* he answered her in her head, his lips not moving even once.  
  
She laughed, but it sounded harsh and painful. "Oooh, but you did" she said accusingly. "You're only a figment of my imagination"  
  
He kneeled down beside her and pulled her into him. *I never left you. I'm still inside you. Like you said…a figment of your imagination*  
  
She clenched his black t-shirt in her fists and cried into it. He hugged her tighter and began to rock back and forth with her. The rythm was soothing and calmed her down. Soon she stopped crying. Only a little sob would escape from her throath now and then.  
  
  
I'm broken in two  
And I know you're on to me  
And I only come home  
When I feel so alone  
But I do believe  
  
  
After a little while, she heard his voice in her head again. *I can't stay long*  
  
"I know" she said, her words a little muffled because of the t-shirt.  
  
"Will you ever come back?"  
  
*I'll keep coming back until you're ready to let go of me*  
  
"When will I be ready?"  
  
*You'll know it, when you are. And then you won't need me anymore*  
  
"I'll always need you" she whispered. She lifted her eyes and stared into his. Tracing the frames of his face with them. Cheekbones, the line of his nose, cheeks, lips. The tears began to sting in her eyes again.  
  
*Oh no, you're not starting to cry again, are you? I'm bloody drowing* it sounded in her head and she managed to smile. There was the Spike she knew.   
  
Then they were silent again. Buffy snuggled a little closer to him and inhaled the scent that was so unique. It was wild, it was untamed, it was…Spike.  
  
  
That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be.  
It seems that everytime I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me.  
Please say, honestly, you won't give up on me  
  
And I shall believe  
And I shall believe.  
  
  
Suddenly he stood up and she instantly felt cold without him.  
  
"Time's up?" she asked, trying to sound brave and smile. It faile miserably. He nodded.  
  
He was just about to turn around, when she tugged on his sleeve. He looked down.  
  
"Dance with me?" she asked, wiping the tears away and sniffeling a little.  
  
He smiled and held out his hand. She took it and he pulled her close. Slowly he began to move in a slow rythm and she followed.  
  
  
Open the door  
And show me your face tonight  
And I know that it's true  
No one heals me like you  
And you hold the key.  
  
  
She leaned her forehead against his and their eyes locked. They kept swaying to the song in their heads, a rythm only they could hear.  
  
He spun her aound and her hair looked like a golden halo in that moment. He pulled her close again and she kissed him. She couldn't hold her tears back any longer. They spilled and she could see his eyes were blank as well. He hugged her as close as possible and she buried her head in his shoulder.  
  
"Please don't leave me" she whispered. "Please don't leave me"  
  
  
Never again  
Will I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is allright  
And I do believe  
  
  
*I'll never leave you. I'll never let go of you. I'll never let go*  
  
"Promise?"  
  
*Scout's honor*  
  
Then he spun her around again. And then he was gone. And as she stopped spinning and stared at out in the chilly summer-night, his words still rang in her ears.  
  
  
That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be.  
It seems like everytime i try to make it right  
It all comes down on me.  
Please say, honestly, you won't give up on me  
  
And I shall believe  
And I shall believe  
And I shall believe  
  
  
*I'll never let go of you. I'll never let go*  
  
  
End.  
  
  
© 2001 MysLii  



End file.
